On this Autism Awareness Day…
April 1, 2008 by wskrz
I’d like to introduce you to Alex.
A lot of you already know him. Some of you may be meeting him for the first time.
Alex likes ice cream, the movie “Cars,” playing with bubbles, going to the park and his pet cats.
Alex doesn’t like being told no (typical two year old), puzzles or having the television turned off.
Alex’s favorite color is red. Of course, since it’s Lightning McQueen’s color.
Alex’s idea of a great time is running around the backyard with his bubble mower with daddy.
Oh yeah. And he was diagnosed as having autism last September.
Autism does not make Alex who he is. Alex is Alex. He is a kiddo with likes and dislikes (some pretty strong) and while he has no trouble letting us know when he’s pissed off about something, he’ll also give us a kiss or a cuddle when he’s so inclined.
His diagnosis is secondary to what and who he is. Chances are if you saw him on the street, you probably wouldn’t even know that he has autism.
I debated about whether or not I was going to write up something about Autism Awareness Day. Yes, letting people know what autism is and letting people know the warning signs is important. But I’ve seen so many nasty corners to the room that is autism (see the vaccination debates, the murder of Katie McCarron or the various dangerous “treatments” for kids to “cure” them of their autism, just for example) that I’m sometimes not sure that I want to support this “cause.”
But then when I hear about parents that have to fight insurance companies to get the care that their kids need, or the year or more wait lists for therapies or the fact that some people think that “we shouldnt even have them in public schools we should send them to a mental hospital personally if i had an autistic kid i’d kill myself” and then I think that this is the kind of awareness that we should be getting behind. That it should not be as difficult as it is to provide care for all kids with autism, no matter what their financial needs may be and that the stereotypes and misinformation out there need to be addressed.
So today, when you’re adding your voice to the cause that is autism awareness, speak out about your kids first. Talk about the great things about your kids (you’re parents, that’s what you’re supposed to do!) and the things that they can do. Talk about the fun things your kids can do, about their character, their sense of humor and their interests. Then talk about their autism. Because underneath their challenges and their diagnosis, they’re still kids and kids first.
Then go to bat for those that need help to make their voices heard just a little bit louder. Those without insurance coverage. Those that can’t get the help for their kids that they need. Those that are struggling to make ends meet because the bills are piling up. Make those parents that have recently had their children diagnosed with autism realize that their children are still their children and that they have all the support that they need.
I love your last sentence—something I really needed to here when Charlie was diagnosed. More than well said.
Finding out your child has any kind of serious issues that suddenly separate them from the “mainstream” can be a devastating blow. At first it seems like the death of dreams, because you can’t imagine anything ever being “right” again.
But it doesn’t have to be that way - the most important thing parents can have in a situation like this is support from family, friends, and well-informed people who’ve been there.
So folks, when you see a parent out in public struggling with an unruly child, or trying to manage a difficult situation, may I suggest that instead of whispering behind your hands you go and offer a hand instead? Help that person struggling to get their wheelchair over the curb or through that door. Lend an arm to that person with a walker trying to traverse an icy sidewalk. More importantly, if you are one of those people who has a child or sibling with developmental and/or physical issues, step up to the plate and try to get whatever you learn from experience out there for others to benefit from. If you have a list of organizations that have been helpful to you, pass it on.
The more informed we are, the more we are in a position to help others. Show you care and share.
Awesome write-up, wskrz. Alex is an amazing kid, and I just wish I had half his energy. We all send a virtual hug to him (especially his Disney girlfriend ;-D). And to you, too.
I love Alex’s eyes. He is so handsome.
I just stumbled onto your blog today after reading another CNN autism story and googled for some more stuff. Whew! I’ve only read three blogs so far and I love it. Connor is my amazing 14-year-old, who has been diagnosed for 12 years and every, single day I get new information from well-meaning friends and family and the news trying to “cure” him, while I still haven’t seen that there’s anything wrong with him. (except for the fact that he looks just like me - bless his heart) He’s smart, funny and tells me more with a facial expression than I can get out of my “normal” 17-year-old daughter. So you keep going and good luck with your handsome Alex. I’m going to poke around your site some more.
Wonderful post, Kim. Thanks for this.
Thanks for all your comments, everyone. I wanted something positive about autism to be out there in Internetland before a certain blond actress stole the spotlight from the cause of autism to her own personal cause of attention whoring (you know who I mean).
Welcome to my little corner of the Internet, Martha!
And yes, I also do battle with friends and family wanting to help “cure” him whenever they see something new on TV. So I definitely sympathize with you there.
Hey, it happened to be that blond actress that was on CNN that got me wanting to find some parents with more sense than what she’s got. I know EXACTLY what you mean and how you feel about her. Thanks for this site. You get to say all the things that many of us want to but aren’t as articulate.
I noticed that, today (there has been a new illuminating statement every day this week, it seems) on CNN News they claim that autism can also be linked to sperm donations.
Tomorrow, I’m betting it will be linked to cigarette smoking, alcoholism, and masturbation.
What happened to the “good old days”, when news wasn’t presented until all the facts were in?
In this age of disappearing journalistic integrity, it is becoming increasingly important that independent voices (like yours, Kim) have a place to be heard. So thanks, Al Gore, for the internet. ;-D
Beautiful post Kim, I’ve said it before, Alex is in the best spot he could ever be in with you as him mom. I know he is a handful and can wear you out at times, but he is truly a wonderful beautiful boy, inside and out.
xo
hi, I just want to say that I have come across your blog on Autism Hub and you rock. After sitting on my fat butt for last 30 minutes reading it, I can only say that I truly wish you were my neighbor! We have a son that is 9years old and is mildly/moderately blah blah autistic. He is also moderately to mostly charming, bratty, irritating, loveable, stinky, and sweet! I gotta tell ya, I have gone through the biomed stuff, the diet (check out my ill conceived blog) and all the commentary and crap from friends and family. I am at a point in my life where I don’t even want to recognize Autism Awareness Day, month, I don’t want a bumper sticker of a puzzle piece on my car. I just want to be a mom to a little boy with some differences that we deal with. I don’t see parents of kids with CP yelling for awareness or having CP bumper magnets on their cars. And don’t make me feel guilty for not wanting recognize Autism Awareness year folks, I feel guilty about junk as it is. Great blog, can’t wait to read more!
Welcome, Bonnie! I suspect that if we were neighbors, we’d have a big, honkin’ cup of coffee together because it sounds like we have a lot in common!